Tears Spent On Your Last Pretense
by sweeplogs
Summary: Oneshot! : My version on what happened after Sam becomes a werewolf, up to where he imprints on Emily. Sam and Leah's relationship.


Leah stared over at Sam. The soft moonlight glinted off of his russet skin, softening his sharp edges and illuminating him. He was so beautiful, and Leah had been so sure that they would be together forever, even if it was only high school right now. He lay on his side, looking at her as well, and smoothing her long hair back from her eyes. His lips curved up into a small smile as their eyes met.

Leah was so glad that she had snuck out tonight. She was every night that they spent together. But laying here on the forest floor, with Sam, where everything felt right was the best feeling in the world. She still got butterflies around him, her heart still pounded when he was close enough that she could feel his body heat. She was so in love with him, and she swore that she could feel his own love, even when they weren't together. At this moment in time, nothing could come between them.

"Leah honey." She felt Sam's deep rumble through the hand laying on his chest. Well, nothing except for the fact that Sam was becoming incresingly distant.

Sam had grown a foot in a couple of weeks and developed muscles that weren't there before. He had cut his hair off as well, but he wouldn't tell her what caused all of this, saying he had a growth spurt. She wanted so badly to believe him, but something wasn't right. He had just got back from something he was gone a good two weeks for.

Leah's mind flipped involuntarily back to those horrible two weeks that Leah and her family had spent searching for Sam. Leah had been so scared that Sam was injured somewhere in the forest. Leah hadn't slept for the majority of the week, worrying about Sam, and she spent most of her time sweeping the nearby woods.

"Sam. I want to know where you were." Leah knew she was whining, but she couldn't seem to change the tone of her voice. "We don't keep secrets from each other, do we?"

"Baby. I was just exploring. Believe me, please?" He scooted closer and kissed her cheek.

"I believe you then." She mumbled. "What about your change of appearance?" Sam sighed.

"I just had a growth spurt. I'm sure that's normal." Sam looked into her eyes, and she saw in the dark depths of them, something pleading with her to just believe him. So she did. She sighed and nestled into his big arms, but then she felt she had to voice a fear that was eating away at her.

"Are you cheating on me, Sam?" She said quickly. She was not sure if he had heard her at first, and she was ready to repeat it angrily, but he pulled away and cupped her face with his big hands. To her surprise, he laughed.

"Leah. You're more than enough to handle that I don't have to cheat on you. I feel I don't even deserve you." His voice was genuine, and she knew he loved her. She snuggled into his warm embrace once again, happy with his explanation.

They laid for a long time, like most nights before she felt Sam shift. She knew that he was going to make her go home now, so she rolled on top of him and tried to kiss him seductively, nibbling his lip, so that he would prolong their visit.

"Babe," He laughed, setting his hands on her arms and pulling away. "As much as I'd love to stay, it is time to get you home."

Leah sat back and folded her arms over her chest, pouting. Sam looked at her for a long moment, before leaning forward and smoothing out her frown. He pulled her into his lap.

"I know that you hate leaving our place." He said as he gave her a series of small kisses. But I have to get you home." Kiss." So that no one worries" Kiss "About where you are." Kiss. "I'll see you again later today." Kiss.

Sam stood up, pulling her with him. He held onto her hand as he walked down the familiar trail towards the village. When they got to Leah's backyard, he pulled her around and hugged her, hard. A "see you later." She stood on the tips of her toes and tried to reach his lips, but she couldn't without help. She pulled his face down to her and pressed her lips against his.

'I love you." She murmered, before taking a few steps towards her house.

"I love you as well, Leah." Sam whispered before disappearing in the dark trees.

Leah crawled between her cool sheets and laid awake for a long while, wondering what Sam was up to before drifting off into semi-conciousness, dreamless and uncomforting, but stayed like that the whole night.

Sue Clearwater walked into Leah's room the next day and gently shook her awake.

"I can't have you sleeping away the whole day on me, Leah." She said, pulling back her sheets. "If you're going to sneak out at night with that Sam Uley, you must get back in good time so that you have a decent nights sleep." Leah sat straight up and stared at her mom, who smiled down at her, eyes crinkling around the edge. Sue made a zipper with her lips and pretended to lock her mouth and throw away the key.

"Thanks..." She started.

"Breakfast is on the table." Sue replied, walking out the door and down the stairs.

Leah got out of bed and threw on new clothes for the day ahead. She wandered downstairs, where her father and brother were sitting at the table, Seth shovelling pancakes in his mouth, her father having mostly fruit.

"Morning." She said pleasantly, although exhausted.

"Morning dear." Her father replied, opening up his newspaper. Seth just gave her a sideways glance, before finishing up the rest of his pancakes. He hopped to the sink with his plate, and bounced over to the door.

"Later folks, I'm going to hang out with the guys." He said brightly. "See you later Leah."

Then he was gone, and Leah was left with her parents. Leah scraped her food around her plate before dumping a few remnants in the garbage, setting her plate in the sink and sitting back down on the table, putting her head in her hand.

"Now, now Leah. I can't have you going all googly-eyed on me. Would you care to help me with dishes?" Sue asked, running the water.

"Alright Mom." Leah replied and grabbed a dishcloth from the stove handle. She stood, waiting for her mom to soak and scrub the dishes.

"You know, I don't know if he's good or bad for you," Harry said from the table.

"Oh, he's good. You remember us when we were their age." Sue scolded.

"Well, he makes her tired and she zones out quite a bit. I'm just sayin'" Harry replied.

"Oh, enough. He's a good influence, and he's a perfectly nice boy." Sue said, then turned to Leah. "He's a nice boy."

"Thanks Mom." Leah smiled.

The rest of the day was spent cleaning out the house, and by ten o'clock, Leah was tired of doing chores, and sitting with her parents. She bade goodnight and went up the stairs into her room, where, when she opened the door, she let out a small squeak of surprise. She quickly shut the door behind her and ran over to her bed, sliding in it beside the large, tanned body sleeping in her bed.

"Sam." She said softly, shaking his shoulder. He jumped awake and looked at Leah, stretching and yawning. He then brushed his hand down her cheek.

"Lee-Lee." He said sleepily, kissing the back of her hand.

"Hi." She said softly.

"Hi." He replied, grinning down at her.

"It's nice to see you again." She said, looking away.

"I was busy all day, but I couldn't stand not seeing you." He said, his voice husky from sleep.

"And then you fell asleep on my bed." She giggled.

"Well, I've been waiting for a good half hour."

"Why didn't you come to the front door?"

"Because." He growled, flipping her onto her back and hovering over her. "This makes it that much more fun, and I don't think your parents would accept a nine thirty house call."

"Well, I'm glad you came anyway." She said, smiling up at him. He grinned down at her before sliding his arm under her lower back and picking her up towards him, pressing her body to his, suspended in the air. He pressed his forehead against hers.

"I am too." He said simply, pressing his mouth onto hers. His animalistic desire tonight was overwhelming as his tongue ran over her bottom lip and she allowed him entry. Their tongues danced in their mouths, hands drifting over all the parts of their bodies that they could reach, clothes being shed, while quiet enough so as not to draw attention.

Leah lay beside Sam a long time later, much the same as the night before, staring into his dark eyes.

"Lee, I promise I will never leave you." Sam said suddenly, softly. It surprised Leah, and she stared at him a long moment.

"Promise?" She asked.

"I promise." He confirmed. "You are my everything."

"You are too sweet." Leah whispered, slightly embarassed.

"Don't blush, I'm just telling you how I feel, how much I feel." Sam said, stroking her cheeks again with the back of his hand. "I do have to go though."

He got up and started to pull on his boxers, Leah sat straight up, and let her long legs fall over the side of the bed.

"Do you really have to go?" She asked, and he peered at the digital clock on her dresser.

"Yeah, I really do. I'll see you later today though, okay?" He said rushedly. All of his clothes were on now as he kissed her on her forehead and slipped out the window. Leah sat there still, feeling all too much like that was a bootycall. She knew she shouldn't feel that way, she knew Sam loved her. He was just really busy right now. With what? What could he be rushing off to? Leah laid back down into her bed into a restless sleep again that night.

Leah woke up the next morning feeling refreshed, and decided to go to the cliff at First Beach. She walked along the trail, the wind blowing her hair behind her, off of her back. She loved the smell of the fresh, clean air of the cliff. She sat down on the edge, staring out into the horizon, thinking of nothing but Sam. Her hurt at his actions last night had been surprising, but she had to, needed to hold onto him for all it was worth. She wasn't going to let go.

She felt a presence behind her, and turned around, finding Sam in sweatpants and nothing else. He sat down beside her and took her hand, saying nothing.

"Sam. I need to know what is going on with you. Why you disappeared, where you went, why your appearance changed, why you keep disappearing at the most random times. I can't let it sit like this without knowing the truth." Leah cried out, surprising herself. Sam was quiet as he looked out over the grey water. He finally turned to her after a few long moments.

"I cannot tell you. I do wish I could, Leah. I just need you to trust me. Please." He begged, his eyes looking a little watery.

"Sam! I don't like that you're keeping this much from me!" Leah yelled despite herself, hearing it echo back to her from the cliff.

"I just can't tell you right now!" Sam countered, a little more loudly than she expected, and she jumped back, sliding off the ledge. She screamed before realizing that she was not falling, instead swung up and sitting about six feet from the edge as if she hadn't even been near it in the first place.

"Don't do anything stupid like that again." Sam said lowly, his voice muffled because of his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry that I can't accept it." Leah said, bowing her own head.

"I don't want this to come between us." Sam's arms wound around her, his breath hot in her ear.

"I don't want you to lie to me." She kept her head down.

"My Leah, I'm not lying about anything, I'm merely withholding something that I can't tell you." Sam's voice broke as it filled with emotion.

"I don't want to talk to you right now." Leah said, her heart breaking. This was not how she wanted to be conversing with Sam. She didn't want to be fighting. She just wanted the truth. She stood up and started to walk back towards the village.

"Leah, no." Sam said, getting up and following behind her. He followed her almost the whole way to the village, apologizing before he stopped her just outside.

"Leah, if you really want to know, I'm going to have to show you." Sam said.

"Yes, Sam. I would really love to know." Tears were falling out of her eyes and running down her face. Sam swept them away before taking a step back, and pulling off his sweats.

"Okay Leah. I don't..." He started, but there was the sound of someone walking towards them, and Old Quil Ateara came around the corner.

"Hi kids. I hope I'm not interupting anything." He said, grinning a little bit as he glanced at Sam.

_Only everything_ Leah thought bitterly, before smiling back. "Hi Mr. Ateara."

"Hello Leah. Sam, would you mind putting your pants back on?" Sam looked down, seeming to have forgotten that he had taken his pants off and then had them back on in a matter of seconds. "Thank you son."

"Good afternoon Mr. Ateara." Sam said finally, taking half a step towards him.

"Sam, I might ask that you come with me. We should discuss something." Quil's gravelly voice, and superiority beckoned Sam forward.

"I'll see you later Leah." Sam whispered.

"Have a nice day, Leah, might you excuse us."

"Yes sir." Leah said, and they walked off, leaving Leah standing there. She waited a few minutes before venturing off on her own without Sam.

Leah didn't go home. Instead she wandered around the reservation for hours on end, waiting for Sam to catch up with her and tell her his secret. He didn't come. She walked home with disappointment bearing heavily on her shoulders. She didn't talk to anyone, she went straight up to bed. Sam wasn't around the next day either, or the day after that. Leah went to school both days without speaking to many people, only replying to their questions monotonously. On the second day that Sam was gone, Leah was sitting on the couch, doing her homework when Seth sauntered in.

"Leah, you can't act this way just because Sam's not around." Seth said, sitting down on the chair across from her, looking serious for the first time in his short life.

"Act what way?" Leah asked absentmindedly.

"You're not talking to anyone, you walk around like you're a ghost. You haven't said a word other than 'yes' and 'no' since the day before the day before yesterday. Then before that, you were silent because Sam disappeared for a week without telling you. I miss your happier times, sis." Seth sounded so serious, and sad that it almost made Leah cry.

"I miss happier times too." Leah sighed. She got up and hugged her brother. A first in a long time. "I'm sorry Seth. I envy your careless ways, I really do."

"You could be careless." Seth mumbled from her shoulder. She stepped back and sat back down on the couch.

"I dont think that's possible."

The next morning, Leah woke up sweating, almost expecting Sam to be laying in her bed next to her. No such luck. She sighed and got out of bed, and after getting ready, left with Seth for school. Sam wasn't there, and Leah had a feeling that he wouldn't be seeing him today either. Nobody bothered with her today, they knew that she wouldn't respond, and it made Leah feel more alone than ever.

Sam didn't show up for the next three days, and Leah stopped hoping. She cried herself tired and fell asleep with her clothes on. But the next morning she woke up, and rolled into something solid and warm. Sam wrapped his arms around her.

"Sam." She said. She didn't think that she'd be able to look at his face just yet.

"I'm sorry Lee." His voice rumbled against her back. But she wasn't taking it yet.

"I haven't seen you for five days, you can't just show up and say sorry." She whispered, scared her voice would betray her.

"I've been with Old Quil. It's been a busy five days. I'm sorry that I haven't shown up or called or anything." Sam tried to turn her around, but she tried with all her might to stay put. He sighed and pressed his front up against her back. She didn't want Sam to see the silent tears that were blurring her vision.

"Leah, don't cry. I promise I won't disappear without explanation again." He said, sounding hopeful. "I won't go back on my promises."

"Okay." Leah didn't think she could have him being like this right now. He visited at weird times, and left suddenly. She couldn't handle this.

"Let me look at your beautiful face, my fierce little fox." Sam said softly. She couldn't believe that they, the golden couple of the school were having problems. Could she take any more of this? She turned in his arms and looked at his face. His eyes were sunken in, and his eyes were dull, like only an overly exhausted person could acquire.

"There you are. I've missed looking at you, you're gorgeous." He grinned down at her, and she couldn't help but smile back.

"Maybe you should get some sleep. You look exhausted." Leah said warily. "You can sleep here. I have to go to school."

"Alright." Sam agreed, stretching out as Leah got up. She showered, then changed into clean clothes. As she re-entered the room, Sam was curled up in her bed sleeping soundly. She walked over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Love you Lee." He mumbled, smiling. She brushed her fingers over his muscled shoulder before going downstairs.

"Good morning dear." Sue said hopefully.

"Good morning Mom." Leah replied, smiling at her mother. She looked surprised, and happy that her daughter was responsive.

"Hey Leah, glad you're out of your coma." Seth said from the table, grinning.

"Yes Leah, just in time. You remember your cousin Emily, right?" Sue asked.

"Not very well, it's been a lot of years since I've seen her." Leah replied, taking a bite out of a banana.

"Well, she's coming down for a few days. Her parents just divorced, and Auntie asked me to take her in for a few days." Sue said. "She graduated last year, I don't know why she need parental assistance." She mumbled.

"Alright." Leah accepted.

"Well, its like a friendly visit. She's coming in today, so I'll need you to be home to welcome her."

"Okay Mom. Got it." Leah said, "I have to get to school though, see you after."

Leah stepped out of the house with Seth by her side. They walked to the school, and Leah sat anxiously through it, antsy for it to end and her to go home to Sam, that is, if he was still there. When the final bell rang, she made a mad dash for home, leaving Seth behind. She said hello to her parents and rushed upstairs to her bedroom, where, to her great surprise and enjoyment, Sam was still sleeping.

"Sam." She whispered, and he stirred, not quite awake. "Sam." She said a little bit louder, and he engulfed her with his huge arms, pulling her down on the bed beside him.

"Hi." He said, smiling at her.

"Hi, you're still here." Leah said, and couldn't help sounding surprised.

"Of course I'm still here." Sam said, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know." Leah replied vaguely, then Sam's stomach rumbled, loud and vibrating the mattress. "You know, if you come in through the front door, I'll be able to feed you." Leah laughed.

"That sounds like a good idea." Sam said, and was out the window before she could blink. There was then a knocking at the door.

"I've got it!" Leah yelled, running down the stairs. She opened the door, and a still sleepy Sam stood, taking up most of the frame of her doorway.

"Hello, do you think I could come in?" Sam asked, smiling.

"Why of course, are you hungry?" Leah answered, him following her to the kitchen.

"Starved." He replied, rubbing his stomach for effect. Leah heated up all the leftovers from the night before to feed Sam's huge appetite, and sat across from him as he ate.

"Why hello Sam." Sue said, coming in the door.

"Hello Mrs. Clearwater." Sam said, looking up and grinning at Sue.

"Good to see you back." She said, getting a glass of water and leaving the room.

"Yes Sam." Leah said, and Sam looked up at her.

"I'm back, and I'm here. Isn't that okay?" He sounded confused.

"It's perfect." Leah smiled at him.

At that moment, they heard a car pull into the driveway, Leah glanced out the window and saw the Emily that she had remembered from when they were kids.

"Emily's here." Sue said, bringing Seth down from his room. There was a knock on the door and Sue answered it, smiling largely.

"Hello Emily! It's nice to have you back!" Sue said, hugging Emily.

"Thank you for letting me stay with you Sue, I appreciate it so much." Emily's soft, kind voice answered. Then Sue brought Emily into the kitchen.

"Hi Emily." Leah said,

"Hi." She said politely, smiling. Emily had changed over the years, Leah stared at her, and jealousy surged through her at this first glance. Emily was gorgeous now.

"Sam, this is my cousin Emily. Emily, Sam." Leah said, looking down at Sam. He paused from shovelling food into his mouth and looked up at Emily. Leah immediately felt the shift in gravity, the ties that had bound her and Sam together being torn apart. Sam's pupils dilated so much they took over the colour in his eyes as they glazed over, looking at Emily. Leah felt as if her heart was being torn from her body, right through her ribcage, she felt so small and insignificant against Emily. She put her hand over his, but there was no reaction. The atmosphere around her felt charged, and it pressed in on her head. Sam still hadn't budged, staring at Emily. She was starting to look slightly uncomfortable, not knowing what just happened. Leah didn't either, and she couldn't explain it, but she knew that this was going to change her life.

"Sam." Leah started, her voice cracking. It seemed to break Sam out of his reverie.

"Hello Emily." Sam said, his voice husky. Leah couldn't believe what she was seeing. This was outrageous.

"Excuse me." Leah managed, before running upstairs and only just making it into the bathroom before hurling into the toilet. She laid down on the bathroom floor, sure that Sam was not going to follow her. Something supernatural had happened back there in the kitchen. She couldn't think about it, it physically hurt. Tears started slowly leaking out of her eyes, and she curled up into the fetal position, sobbing with all her might before she threw up again.

Some few minutes later, she guessed, though it felt like hours, someone opened the door. She kept her eyes closed at the person knelt down beside her, and the body heat coming off of them meant that it couldn't have been Sam.

"Oh my goodness Leah," Seth's soft voice said as he brushed hair from her face. It was too nice a gesture. She didn't want anyone to be nice to her. She didn't deserve it, she wasn't good enough. She'll never be good enough.

"Seth, go away please." She whimpered.

"No, Leah. You look awful." Seth sounded so heartbroken. This was why she needed him gone.

"SETH! GET OUT OF HERE!" She yelled, with so much force that it took all of her strength. She sunk into the cold tile floor, depleted of everything that she had. She felt her ferocity for life oozing out from her heart. She felt her pride, her self esteem, her compassion. She was no longer beautiful, envied. She was no one.

More time passed, Leah felt like she was getting rid of every good thing about her. She couldn't be good without Sam, when Sue walked in. She only looked down at Leah, worry full in her voice.

"Leah, Sam has come back. He would like to speak to you."

Leah decided she couldn't get up. She wasn't going to. She had a bad feeling about what was going to happen. Sue must have sensed this, because she sighed, walked over and lifted Leah under her armpits to a standing position. She took her arm and led her down the stairs and to the door, where Sam stood, waiting. His features were ruffled and his face lined with worry, but at the same time, a kind of peace hung around him.

"What do you say we go for a walk?" Sam asked her, his voice very careful and soft. Sue nudged her out the door and shut it behind her. They left the house and got to the edge of the lawn before Sam stopped her. He kept glancing back towards the house.

"Leah, I just have something to say, and I want to make it as painless as possible, because it almost kills me as well" Sam started, looking back towards the house. Leah's heart jumped into her throat. She couldn't breathe, as she tried to take a ragged breath in.

"Something happened tonight, and I can't explain it to you, but it's something that cannot be changed, no matter what I'd try." He continued. Leah knew what was coming, and she felt a tear slipping down her cheek. She would have thought that she had shed her body weight in tears, it was a wonder she still could

"I love you, Leah. I can't say that that's enough to stay with you though. Things happened that were beyond my control, and this is all my fault and you can blame me for as long as you want. I feel horrible. But I also feel that we cannot be together anymore. As much as I don't want to, and I want to kill myself for even suggesting it. But there's nothing that can be done about it."

"But I love you... isn't that enough?" Leah asked, the tears now pouring down her face. Her legs collapsed, without her choice and she fell to the ground. Sam kneeled down beside her.

"I don't know if it is." His voice sounded choked up, and Leah realized that he was crying too. His whole body shuddered. "We can't be together anymore though, strange things have happened tonight. Things that you someday might understand, but I can't tell you now. I'm bound to a secret"

"Why can't we? We're perfect for each other." Leah begged, holding onto Sam's hand, but she no longer felt the warmth she once had He wouldn't look into her eyes as he glanced back towards the house.

"I can't believe that, and I'm so sorry Lee-Lee. I do love you." He was so calm it irritated her, and she felt her ache and sadness branching off into anger.

Leah couldn't breathe, she couldn't speak. She couldn't even look at Sam's face anymore. She disentangled herself from his embrace. This wasn't breaking up, this was tearing up. Sam no longer wanted her. She wasn't special. She was second-best to Emily. She was never going to win in this life. It was so messed up, she couldn't wrap her head around it.

She felt the anger course through her body, like her heart was sending it out with every beat it took. It flooded into her arms, her legs and it blurred her vision. She felt that she could vomit anger at Sam, she could throw it at him and hit him square in his calm face. That stupid face that was in love with Emily now. It wasn't in love with her anymore.

"You promised. YOU PROMISED" She managed, screaming brokenly at him, she threw her fist at his face, aiming to break one of his pretty-boy features. He caught her hand just before it hit, and dropped it back into her lap. "I HATE YOU!" She yelled louder, feeling it all too much. She couldn't handle this anymore, she was going to act like the strong person she was. She stood up, giving him one last look filled with contempt: she wasn't going to look at him ever again, and ran off into the forest blindly. She couldn't see through her tears. Tears of anger, of pain, of hurt, of loss. It seemed she'd been doing a lot of crying lately, and it was because of Sam. She kept running, falling on roots and getting back up and running more. She knew somehow that Sam would not follow her this time. This time, she was on her own, and she wasn't good enough. She wasn't Emily.

**Well, here it is.. my story of Leah and Sam right before he imprints. I wanted it to be so much sadder, and I'll work on that, I'll work on bringing tears to your eyes, hopelessness to your heart.  
I hope you liked it, took me homework time to write this, I just had to.**  
**Sam and Leah might have been so cute together, and thanks twilight4evr84 for putting the thought into my head. :)  
Oh, by the way ... I don't own Twilight or Sam or Leah  
Or Seth, though I think he's the cutest little guy ever.**


End file.
